New Members

We have several, well one new enquiry ref becoming a member of our happy band. A rigours selection process will need to be gone through. The old lady's need to examine all new members I am reminded and money may well have to change hands. It all depends. So what is new?

We are all getting ready packing and unpacking our gear for our trip in June. Sea-monkey is so excited that he has even had his bike serviced and fixed his brakes, so now he can even stop. RBF has tried to get an MOT but cant find a garage who will take his oily old money, the rat will never pass so a back hander is the only way. The old lady (hardest working woman in the world) cant remember the name of him who got his ticker fixed. Anyway he even got his old Gussy out and it worked. Not for long but it did and So is his ticker which is great.

All in All life goes on and we're great.

Foo king hell even spelt it right.

Its Decided

We're off to France again

This time going south till the sun shines.

Where you may ask? Who knows but it will be in early June for fun in the sun.

On a sad note the great John Martyn singer/ song writer died today.

A sad loss to this world,

but he left us all some great sounds.

Here We Go

Well Here We go. A new year and new adventures to be had. One of us has "JUST" had a massive adventure and is well on the mend. We are all grateful as membership is low and we need the money.

Well where now its time to decide on the next big trip and ideas is what we need.

So far Spain, France, Ireland and even north Africa have been suggested.

Time is an issue about 6 days max (or the old Lady's gets the hump) and we gets pissed off with each other. May be we should stay in old Blighty , but where and when.

The end of spring seems favourate , at least theres the chance of good weather, by then Im pissed off with being rained on and would like some sun on the old bones.

So leave a comment. Clean ones only please and tell us where to go.

Homeward We Must Go

All packed up and sorted out it was time to say good bye to all of our french friends.
We gave breakfast to the horses and I made sure that Jeff, this great big old fellow who I get to ride from time to time, had a extra special bit all to himself.





There were so many people we didn't get to see (Sorry Tammy and Dan) we would have if we could have, and we will next time.




At least the sun was shining and the roads looked dry. By the time we had got it together, stuffed all our bits into bags and tied them down, we needed to get a move on.

We set off for Roscoff and the boat back to Plymouth. Things where looking up, fine weather, dry roads and lunch to look forward to on route. Its a good road, if a bit fast at times and lots of opportunity's for Mr Jondamm the policeman to stop you and demand cash for driving too fast as he see's it. We being sensible folks ... ignored this completely and shot off like the wind. Then down came the rain. It came down, across from the right, then from the left. It came in sheets, buckets, misty-type, monsoon-type in fact it came every way you could think of even, at one time, back up off the road straight at us.

Lunch was a welcome break as we pulled into the small village of La Feuillee.

A nice looking place, if a little on the quite side. In fact with no one in sight. It was a bit like one of those western films when the four riders ride into town and tumble weed blows down the main street.

We was bloody starving and the restaurant was FUCKING SHUT !!!!!! it being a Monday. WHY?

Does no one eat on Monday's? Maybe that's why French birds are so skinny! Who knows?

Anyway we did find this outrageous cafe that was open. It was fab, like some well over the top knocking shop all done in red silk, lights and leather, with little booths and a nice little garden full of blokes smoking. So maybe it was a knocking shop, who knows? We had a very welcome cup of coffee, established that there was no food to be had, left puddles where ever we stood and then left to get the boat.

On the way just out side of Roscoff is this tank. A well known landmark for all you regular travellers to France from Plymouth. Bullfrog couldn't resist stopping for a pic or two get some inspiration for the rat bike. It must have worked cos when he got back home he ordered an old German helmet, a gas mask and various other bits of crap to add to the pile he rides around on (still cant believe the amount of interest that bike gets, its just a pile of rubbish. Good though , don't tell him he'll only get worst)
We finally made it to the boat and by the looks of things it was going to be a bit of a rough crossing. It takes six hours normally. On the new boat that Brittany Ferries run it can be quicker but on this crossing, it was the oldest tub on the high sea's. The bikes were lashed down to the deck with pads and strops. We looked on with horror as far too much strain was put on bits not intended to be treated in such a way. By the time they had finished and we had checked that nothing was broken we went in search of food and drink.

We did food in the shelter of the port and very good it was after our long ride. Then away to the bar just as the boat went out to sea.
Being Old Salty Sea Dogs we ordered four pints and held on to the bar using one hand to drink and the other to keep from flying around.

It was great. Kids crying, people screaming, falling over, being sick into little bags. Funny thing, the sick bags are really small, what if you have loads of sick, and by the look of things most did, it really hard to stop being sick in mid flow as you fill one bag and desperately reach for another. It was like a chain reaction and not all made it to the bags.

We held on and went for more beer very nice it was , up and down ,up and down the boat went. We asked some bloke to take our picture "All right "he said "but you'll have to be quick" , and by the look of the pic he wasn't kidding. He didn't even get it in focus, poor bloke feeling sea sick and trying to look through a very small window on the camera was just to much for him as he passed the camera back he went green and that was the last we saw of him.

It was the end of our trip. We had the best time.

Everything would be back to normal as soon as we landed in the UK. Job's-worth unloading staff at the port would try to tell us we would get knocked off our bikes if we didn't do as they said. Car divers would try to cut us up as we made our way out of Plymouth. The rain would piss on us continuously all the way home, even MacDonald's would be shut when we was hungry again, but we didn't know all of this. We was all a bit quite and wished we was going and not coming back.

Ha Ho there's always next time and there will be a next time I'm sure.

THANK YOU TO ALL WHO MADE THIS ONE OF THE BEST TRIPS I HAVE EVER HAD.

(THE OTHERS MIGHT HAVE A DIFFERENT VIEW)

Bum Wee and Sun at Last

Where was we... O yes in the club barn pissed up on a one wheeled bike.

When we got around to one of the major concerns of any right thinking biker .... Having a Poo...

Or not as the case may be. There was by now, after so much sea food and beer, a general churning of guts with far to much wind involved. We got to... when did you last go, was it a good one and of even consistency? Usual sort of questions. Answers ranged from solid from riding all day to piping bag and the worst fear of all to any biker all done up in wet weather gear "BUM WEE".

I'm sure I need not explain any more you all know what I'm talking about. Needless to say one of us could even spell all of it and wrote it in the dirt on Clunks bike. Oh we did laugh.

First thing in the morning he was out washing his bike ready for the day , not a mention of the little message left for him ( it was just dirty) . He missed the same on his number plate left by some monkeys who rode behind him saying Ha look at the bike with rude words on it (in France where they speaks French) no one but they had any idea what it said.

Any way we set off for a day in the sun and a ride around some of the coast and river valleys.

We headed for Larmor Plage a small seaside place which has a market on a Sunday morning. On this Sunday they also had an Art market... Well what can I say ... ... I know it was shit....

Unbelievable I have in fact been to this market before and it was the same then even down to the place that the seller (I Won't call them Artists) sat a flogging the stuff. We had fun and went to a cafe for some breakfast.. Four coffees and four beers says I to the fine looking young lady who invited us in " you have some Friends come " she demanded " No that's our breakfast" we explained. "English" said she and wiggled away for our beverages, dear of her. What a great way to start any day eyeing up the ass of a young french girl then beer and coffee which was probably better for us.

From the cafe we went along the coast which was stunning. With fantastic view's on a bendy road. Coming around a bend and seeing the sea and a beach just takes your breath away and being on the bike you get to smell the air and really feel your surroundings as well... Fab.

We rode to Guidel and the on to Le Pouldu for lunch in a crepe restaurant. Coming from the lizard we was surprised to see this place cos we have one too its called Poldhu Cove. Just another example of how close Cornwall and Brittany really are. they share so much in language and culture its a shame more isn't made of it.

Anyway on the beach Bullfrog decided to get all Arty himself taking a few snaps after seeing a reflection in some of the shiney bits on our bikes. Not his bike, cos it is a pile of do..doo.
Him having A level photoing and all, and may be trying to make his dear old mum proud of him her being so arty er self









Not a bit of it! .... What he actually said was
"Check out the funny faces i can pull in this here mirrory thing,,,, I look fucking wearied".
Very Arty we all thought.

Then onward from the sea we went, inland towards Quimperle. A nice little town where two rivers seem to join. Again some great roads all bends and turns really good for riding, not that head down, ass up lashed to the tank of a plastic bullet, dressed in outrageous coloured leather kind of riding, but the kind that gives you time to enjoy everything around you and remember that life is good.

So after many miles of country side we stopped off for some afternoon beer a funny place right by the side of this lovely river I think was the Scoff. What a place even had a fake stork on the roof. We made an impression on the owner who wanted to take our picture... So we let her....

Did she know we was star's about to appear in the local paper. Was it cos we looked so hard and mean on our hogs.. Well bikes then, Or was it cos we was so drop dead gorgeous.

Who knows anyway she took the pic's, we had the beer and All was well. We looked great and cool as you like as we sped away I'm sure.

Breaking a few hearts along the way is just part of the game......

Finally we ended up at our great friends Gail and Bob who had invited us for a Bar Bee.

It was great more beer and meat what more do lads need.We met up with Richard and Claire and there very new little boy (well done Rich) and some new french ladies ....

great fun was had by all. THANK YOU Bob and Gail we miss you, then back home to the club barn for some much earn sleep. Which I was ready for after one of the best days riding with four of my best mates, I have ever had.

TA

The Beat Goes On

After seeing all that mystical stuff the day before we decided we could use some too. So we offed it to a magic well in the Camors Forest, a nice ride from where we was staying. At the well fantastic water come out having been filtered through the forest, it tastes really good and people come from far and wide with loads of bottles and containers to fill up and drink it at home.

We had a drink and blessed our bikes with a bit so as some of the magic from the trees and forest would rub off and keep us safe. As we was getting all spiritual and back to nature that Seachimp disappeared over the road into the deep dark wood. We wondered but said nothing... Then to our horror we saw him squat down, quickly turning our backs not willing to watch as one of our own emptied himself in our newly found magic place we stood looking at the well " nice here " small talk, you know the sort of thing.

Seachimp, mean time, started to shout, turns out he was trying to take a pic or two for the family album and decided to get all arty with a low angle shot. If only I had been wearing the glasses priscribed to me and not scummed to vanity trying to look cool again. Still I couldn't have been alone in thinking he was about to take a dump as everyone of us turned away at the same time. Maybe there is a theme here.
Anyway onward... After a great ride through the forest and villages lead by Clunk we made it to the seaside port of Saint Goustan next to Auray. Ignoring sign posts, tourist and locals alike, we drove our bikes right up the quay named after Benjamin Franklin ,of USA President fame. Turns out he went there too, looking for some help with a little problem he was having with the English at the time,shitting on him and his, causing him and his bro's a bit of agro.

Coming from Cornwall we understood all about this sort of problem, but we never did think of asking our French cousins for help... may be we should have after all look at them now. Them Americans that is.

Anyway right up to the best bit and parked up " we're English you know and don't understand you Johnny's" " More beer garcon", was the cry.

There we sat enjoying the views. Manly of our bikes and the bloody interest the rat bike kept getting. For some reason everywhere we went people made a bee line of the rat bike to admire it, or just to stare in disbelief, it was hard to tell. Either way it was a bit galling each of us considering that the bike we rode was with out doubt the best thing that ever graced the highway, only to be pushed aside by the bloody pile of rat ....

Then off back to the club house where our host had laid on the most fantastic meal "fruit de mare" loads of it.I have never eaten so much sea food in my life, it was great and very generous of him and the family WE THANK YOU. All washed down with loads of beer also very welcome.

Hay Ho .... Now full of crab, shell fish and beer we decided it would be just the time to do essential maintenance on the bikes, like you do.

So pissed up and with belly's groaning we set too. The rat had developed a wiring problem due to the massive amount of water it kicked up in the wet, which went straight down BullFrogs back and into the wiring loom. Maybe there is a god after all!

Ha..... at last the pile of crap was getting its just rewards... but no with the minimal of fuss and some tape a bottle top and string all was fixed. ( what no 3 week wait to get it into the dealership and mortgage the house to pay of parts and labour) No the bastard.....

Anyway whilst repairing and more beer drinking went on it was decided that trying to ride a uni cycle was a really good idea and ..... off we went. Well some of us, not me I'm far to BIG and by now far to pissed and full so I to me bed, watching and listening .. They on the cycle with very little success it has to be said , when some cleaver spark who shall remain nameless ( but for a small sum I will tell email and cash only) said "this would be so much easier if it had another wheel".

No shit.... they'd call it a bike... now go to bed you twat.

And the Ride Goes On

Saturday we offed it to Hennebont taking in some of the sites and sounds getting caught up in a wedding along the way and visiting the great bar Krisker again in the center of the town as they made us so welcome the day before. So after more coffee and breakfast beer we sat on our bikes waiting for Seachimp to have a pee.

He came back a little on the shocked side, as in mid flow, around the back of the church he realised he was in fact not peeing on a bush but on the local tramp, fast asleep after far too much wine. Top tip... never wear camouflage clothes when sleeping rough, if you don't want to get pissed on( sounds like my military career all over again).

Sitting on our bikes just getting ready to move off the local newspaper reporter asked us what we was up to. We explained in our best French and so we got into the local paper all smiles and stuff. It was good to see old friends and catch up on old times again.

Then off on a run around the area.

In a tiny village called Saint Yves, we found a Guzzi specialist. To the joy of Clunk who has just finished a total rebuild of a 74 California and was on its first big test run. Out came this little Old bloke, who looked like a few wines may have passed his lips that morning, it was nearly lunch time and who with just one glance at the afore mentioned bike ,said in french "nice a 74 California" and then went on to explain all of the good and bad bits about the bike. All in all he seemed impressed. We was bloody impressed.... with just a glance he got it all right.

Looking through the window of the shop it looked like a museum, loads of old boxes, bits, plugs filters and so on. Clunk was in his element and next door there just happened to be a bar so we had beer. The locals spoke Breton, we didn't but just smiled. It was a bit like those horror films where they just keep smiling and walking backward hoping they aren't about to be eaten or taken away to dark places and have unnatural things done to them.

Well not really they were very kind and told us how to say cheers in Breton so "Ye Mat"

Then off again for more adventures on the highway in the wind and rain

Lizard M.C.C makes the News

We made it into the newspaper already. Not in the UK but in France. Here it is, not sure what it says but I have a good idea.

So there you go us doing our bit for kernow international relations

More from Porcaro

Then off we went in search of food and beer. On the way taking time to look at some of the rides that had made the trip. Some old, some big and some little, a few rats and some who really should'nt have.

We eventually found a tent selling food which was near a tent selling beer. Us being hot and dry after maybe two hours of not drinking and near fainting from lack of food we rushed in , got beer and got in the horde of a que for food, we did try to explain to our french member the importance of both but he didn't seem to understand and offered us a pancake saying it was traditional......... F..k tradition! We had ham and chips and, to what appeared to be horror judging by the looks we got from our new french friend, we ate it from the plate with our fingers and, would you believe, a bit more beer!

We was good to go...but not far. It looked like all 20,000 bike were about to head off on the annual run around the area. We worked our way through the crowds found our bikes and worked our way out in the opposite direction. Iv done one of these big runs before and its a nightmare bike over heats, clutch and breaks wear thin. All in All not good for the bike , very good for the ego though as all the roads were lined with people waving and cheering, not some thing you would see in the UK.

Still off we went waving away at folks waving at us most of which seemed to be trying to tell us we was going the wrong way Ha Ho and I thought it was cos we was all so cool looking.

Anyway a great day out was had by all. We rode back to our camp site in double quick time and wanted more as we was having so much fun so off out again for a few more beers and a look at the town of Hennebont and the bar Krisker right in the center middle of the town made us veery welcome even getting Guinness in pints.

Just a note: The only Police we saw during the whole day was a helicopter flying over as the ride begain to move off , nothing on the ground .

The whole event was marshaled buy the organisers. Well Done and Thank you to all concerned .

It just goes to prove what you don't need.

Out and About up France

Here we go , we arrived at Porcaro looking well hard ,well perhaps not, just knackered after so little sleep but definitely very cool in our club shirts. So here we are along with 20,000 other bikers.

We couldn't believe it, most of them seemed to want to get blessed by the church fellows. It really was a sight to see. The way it works is this... if you want to get blessed which is a kind of good luck church charm thing then you gets in the que along with what seemed like all 20,000 other bikes and shuffle forward, very slowly on sweaty noisy plastic missiles, to the end.

Then the Priest/church fella flicks water at you and all of your riding sins are forgiven and you gets good karma type church /god stuff and away you go.

GREAT as we was not French and being very English we stood around the edge just in case a bit of the water landed on us and some of the magic washed off, for just as long as it took to take a pic or two.

Then off again into the crowds, looking cool as you like in our shirts...

We're Back

We'er back from France and what a time we had, loads of pics to show and storys to tell but first some very big thank yous.
Special BIG thanks to Alain and his Family for putting up with us and for putting us up, cheers Bro.
Thank you to Bob and Gail for the great food and party so good after a long ride.
And big Thank you,s to the Old Ladys for letting us go in the first place.
(always good to keep on the right side of the management)

Been There, Got The Tee-Shirt

The new and exclusive tee-shirts have arrived thanks to some fast work from those nice people at AdverTees.

Just in time for our French trip later this week.  During a two hour break in rain showers we managed to walk along the stunning Lizard coastal path, wearing the new tee-shirts, which are already attracting admiring comments!  Numbers and sizes of the tee-shirts are limited but we hope to be able to have a full range available shortly including hoodies etc, just ready for the winter.  Clearly a stylish and must have item in any right thinking persons wardrobe for this year!  Email us if you are interested.

Has clunk finally finished the guzzi project?

The vintage rally must have taken its toll!

Founders off to France

The founders of Lizard MCC are off to France just for a jolly.

Whilst we are there we will be visiting friends, having a fine time, eating and drinking, riding our bikes round Brittany, going feral, only taking one pair of pants, stopping off at various bars en-route.

As Clunk said, we are also going to take a look-see at the famous bike pardon at Porcaro (try this link)

Only in France would so many bikers turn up to be blessed by a Catholic bike-riding priest. (every little bit helps). As I understand it all started because a local biker was unfortunately killed riding his bike. On the anniversary of his death the local priest blessed a small group of his friends and so it grew. This is the 30th anniversary of this event, ten years ago as many as 20,000 bikes showed up.

So if the weather holds up it should be a good trip.

Bienvenue à toutes et à tous à "Porcaro, village des motards".
Porcaro est une petite commune du Morbihan qui compte 626 habitants et se situe entre Guer et Ploermel, à 45 km de Rennes.

Hey I just found this picture of Porcaro, the next venue of the infamous Lizard mcc ! 626 inhabitants , that's tiny ! 2500-3000 bikes are expected !

Africa Twin Rides Again

I am sure the man said " make sure you change the chain every 42,000 miles"

Ruan Minor vintage rally 2008 ...

What a wash out of a Rally ! A soggy gaggle of enthusiasts grinning, bearing, slipping, sliding and leaving ! Barely half way through the show and the Big Guzzi was the only two wheeled exhibit, sat heavy and dripping with tyres sinking into the field like bare feet in the wash of a sandy beech !

I overheard one drenched bystander say "ansome Cornish liquid sunshine". We seem to be getting a fair bit of that this summer. But hey, we bought huge burgers, drank beer and caught up with some old friends.... And the icing on the cake, I got a 2008 Ruan Minor Rally horse brass just for turning up !!

Yeah baby, check out that trike ! Three Lizard MCC pioneers, some wheelbarrow wheels, a girls bike, some scaff bars, head scratching, stick welding and hey presto, a vehicle capable of some pretty hair raising speeds across Monty's field ! With a little help from a massive power kite and a fresh sou' westerly breeze !!

Rageing Bullfrogs Rat

here is the latest potos of the anal intruder rat

Toecutter....

Probably one of biggest events in the Lizard MCC calender to date is upon us ....Oh yes, it's the Ruan Minor Vintage rally ! A memorable day out for ya red blooded thrill seekers.... Old cars, bikes, tractors and stands .... And dog hair fudge too, but that's another tail !
There'll be rain, grey skies, brollies and thermos flasks ! And of course my ole Guzzi !! So watch this space for some pretty racy photos !! May even snap a static engine or two ......