The Beat Goes On

After seeing all that mystical stuff the day before we decided we could use some too. So we offed it to a magic well in the Camors Forest, a nice ride from where we was staying. At the well fantastic water come out having been filtered through the forest, it tastes really good and people come from far and wide with loads of bottles and containers to fill up and drink it at home.

We had a drink and blessed our bikes with a bit so as some of the magic from the trees and forest would rub off and keep us safe. As we was getting all spiritual and back to nature that Seachimp disappeared over the road into the deep dark wood. We wondered but said nothing... Then to our horror we saw him squat down, quickly turning our backs not willing to watch as one of our own emptied himself in our newly found magic place we stood looking at the well " nice here " small talk, you know the sort of thing.

Seachimp, mean time, started to shout, turns out he was trying to take a pic or two for the family album and decided to get all arty with a low angle shot. If only I had been wearing the glasses priscribed to me and not scummed to vanity trying to look cool again. Still I couldn't have been alone in thinking he was about to take a dump as everyone of us turned away at the same time. Maybe there is a theme here.
Anyway onward... After a great ride through the forest and villages lead by Clunk we made it to the seaside port of Saint Goustan next to Auray. Ignoring sign posts, tourist and locals alike, we drove our bikes right up the quay named after Benjamin Franklin ,of USA President fame. Turns out he went there too, looking for some help with a little problem he was having with the English at the time,shitting on him and his, causing him and his bro's a bit of agro.

Coming from Cornwall we understood all about this sort of problem, but we never did think of asking our French cousins for help... may be we should have after all look at them now. Them Americans that is.

Anyway right up to the best bit and parked up " we're English you know and don't understand you Johnny's" " More beer garcon", was the cry.

There we sat enjoying the views. Manly of our bikes and the bloody interest the rat bike kept getting. For some reason everywhere we went people made a bee line of the rat bike to admire it, or just to stare in disbelief, it was hard to tell. Either way it was a bit galling each of us considering that the bike we rode was with out doubt the best thing that ever graced the highway, only to be pushed aside by the bloody pile of rat ....

Then off back to the club house where our host had laid on the most fantastic meal "fruit de mare" loads of it.I have never eaten so much sea food in my life, it was great and very generous of him and the family WE THANK YOU. All washed down with loads of beer also very welcome.

Hay Ho .... Now full of crab, shell fish and beer we decided it would be just the time to do essential maintenance on the bikes, like you do.

So pissed up and with belly's groaning we set too. The rat had developed a wiring problem due to the massive amount of water it kicked up in the wet, which went straight down BullFrogs back and into the wiring loom. Maybe there is a god after all!

Ha..... at last the pile of crap was getting its just rewards... but no with the minimal of fuss and some tape a bottle top and string all was fixed. ( what no 3 week wait to get it into the dealership and mortgage the house to pay of parts and labour) No the bastard.....

Anyway whilst repairing and more beer drinking went on it was decided that trying to ride a uni cycle was a really good idea and ..... off we went. Well some of us, not me I'm far to BIG and by now far to pissed and full so I to me bed, watching and listening .. They on the cycle with very little success it has to be said , when some cleaver spark who shall remain nameless ( but for a small sum I will tell email and cash only) said "this would be so much easier if it had another wheel".

No shit.... they'd call it a bike... now go to bed you twat.

And the Ride Goes On

Saturday we offed it to Hennebont taking in some of the sites and sounds getting caught up in a wedding along the way and visiting the great bar Krisker again in the center of the town as they made us so welcome the day before. So after more coffee and breakfast beer we sat on our bikes waiting for Seachimp to have a pee.

He came back a little on the shocked side, as in mid flow, around the back of the church he realised he was in fact not peeing on a bush but on the local tramp, fast asleep after far too much wine. Top tip... never wear camouflage clothes when sleeping rough, if you don't want to get pissed on( sounds like my military career all over again).

Sitting on our bikes just getting ready to move off the local newspaper reporter asked us what we was up to. We explained in our best French and so we got into the local paper all smiles and stuff. It was good to see old friends and catch up on old times again.

Then off on a run around the area.

In a tiny village called Saint Yves, we found a Guzzi specialist. To the joy of Clunk who has just finished a total rebuild of a 74 California and was on its first big test run. Out came this little Old bloke, who looked like a few wines may have passed his lips that morning, it was nearly lunch time and who with just one glance at the afore mentioned bike ,said in french "nice a 74 California" and then went on to explain all of the good and bad bits about the bike. All in all he seemed impressed. We was bloody impressed.... with just a glance he got it all right.

Looking through the window of the shop it looked like a museum, loads of old boxes, bits, plugs filters and so on. Clunk was in his element and next door there just happened to be a bar so we had beer. The locals spoke Breton, we didn't but just smiled. It was a bit like those horror films where they just keep smiling and walking backward hoping they aren't about to be eaten or taken away to dark places and have unnatural things done to them.

Well not really they were very kind and told us how to say cheers in Breton so "Ye Mat"

Then off again for more adventures on the highway in the wind and rain

Lizard M.C.C makes the News

We made it into the newspaper already. Not in the UK but in France. Here it is, not sure what it says but I have a good idea.

So there you go us doing our bit for kernow international relations

More from Porcaro

Then off we went in search of food and beer. On the way taking time to look at some of the rides that had made the trip. Some old, some big and some little, a few rats and some who really should'nt have.

We eventually found a tent selling food which was near a tent selling beer. Us being hot and dry after maybe two hours of not drinking and near fainting from lack of food we rushed in , got beer and got in the horde of a que for food, we did try to explain to our french member the importance of both but he didn't seem to understand and offered us a pancake saying it was traditional......... F..k tradition! We had ham and chips and, to what appeared to be horror judging by the looks we got from our new french friend, we ate it from the plate with our fingers and, would you believe, a bit more beer!

We was good to go...but not far. It looked like all 20,000 bike were about to head off on the annual run around the area. We worked our way through the crowds found our bikes and worked our way out in the opposite direction. Iv done one of these big runs before and its a nightmare bike over heats, clutch and breaks wear thin. All in All not good for the bike , very good for the ego though as all the roads were lined with people waving and cheering, not some thing you would see in the UK.

Still off we went waving away at folks waving at us most of which seemed to be trying to tell us we was going the wrong way Ha Ho and I thought it was cos we was all so cool looking.

Anyway a great day out was had by all. We rode back to our camp site in double quick time and wanted more as we was having so much fun so off out again for a few more beers and a look at the town of Hennebont and the bar Krisker right in the center middle of the town made us veery welcome even getting Guinness in pints.

Just a note: The only Police we saw during the whole day was a helicopter flying over as the ride begain to move off , nothing on the ground .

The whole event was marshaled buy the organisers. Well Done and Thank you to all concerned .

It just goes to prove what you don't need.

Out and About up France

Here we go , we arrived at Porcaro looking well hard ,well perhaps not, just knackered after so little sleep but definitely very cool in our club shirts. So here we are along with 20,000 other bikers.

We couldn't believe it, most of them seemed to want to get blessed by the church fellows. It really was a sight to see. The way it works is this... if you want to get blessed which is a kind of good luck church charm thing then you gets in the que along with what seemed like all 20,000 other bikes and shuffle forward, very slowly on sweaty noisy plastic missiles, to the end.

Then the Priest/church fella flicks water at you and all of your riding sins are forgiven and you gets good karma type church /god stuff and away you go.

GREAT as we was not French and being very English we stood around the edge just in case a bit of the water landed on us and some of the magic washed off, for just as long as it took to take a pic or two.

Then off again into the crowds, looking cool as you like in our shirts...

We're Back

We'er back from France and what a time we had, loads of pics to show and storys to tell but first some very big thank yous.
Special BIG thanks to Alain and his Family for putting up with us and for putting us up, cheers Bro.
Thank you to Bob and Gail for the great food and party so good after a long ride.
And big Thank you,s to the Old Ladys for letting us go in the first place.
(always good to keep on the right side of the management)

Been There, Got The Tee-Shirt

The new and exclusive tee-shirts have arrived thanks to some fast work from those nice people at AdverTees.

Just in time for our French trip later this week.  During a two hour break in rain showers we managed to walk along the stunning Lizard coastal path, wearing the new tee-shirts, which are already attracting admiring comments!  Numbers and sizes of the tee-shirts are limited but we hope to be able to have a full range available shortly including hoodies etc, just ready for the winter.  Clearly a stylish and must have item in any right thinking persons wardrobe for this year!  Email us if you are interested.

Has clunk finally finished the guzzi project?

The vintage rally must have taken its toll!

Founders off to France

The founders of Lizard MCC are off to France just for a jolly.

Whilst we are there we will be visiting friends, having a fine time, eating and drinking, riding our bikes round Brittany, going feral, only taking one pair of pants, stopping off at various bars en-route.

As Clunk said, we are also going to take a look-see at the famous bike pardon at Porcaro (try this link)

Only in France would so many bikers turn up to be blessed by a Catholic bike-riding priest. (every little bit helps). As I understand it all started because a local biker was unfortunately killed riding his bike. On the anniversary of his death the local priest blessed a small group of his friends and so it grew. This is the 30th anniversary of this event, ten years ago as many as 20,000 bikes showed up.

So if the weather holds up it should be a good trip.

Bienvenue à toutes et à tous à "Porcaro, village des motards".
Porcaro est une petite commune du Morbihan qui compte 626 habitants et se situe entre Guer et Ploermel, à 45 km de Rennes.

Hey I just found this picture of Porcaro, the next venue of the infamous Lizard mcc ! 626 inhabitants , that's tiny ! 2500-3000 bikes are expected !

Africa Twin Rides Again

I am sure the man said " make sure you change the chain every 42,000 miles"

Ruan Minor vintage rally 2008 ...

What a wash out of a Rally ! A soggy gaggle of enthusiasts grinning, bearing, slipping, sliding and leaving ! Barely half way through the show and the Big Guzzi was the only two wheeled exhibit, sat heavy and dripping with tyres sinking into the field like bare feet in the wash of a sandy beech !

I overheard one drenched bystander say "ansome Cornish liquid sunshine". We seem to be getting a fair bit of that this summer. But hey, we bought huge burgers, drank beer and caught up with some old friends.... And the icing on the cake, I got a 2008 Ruan Minor Rally horse brass just for turning up !!

Yeah baby, check out that trike ! Three Lizard MCC pioneers, some wheelbarrow wheels, a girls bike, some scaff bars, head scratching, stick welding and hey presto, a vehicle capable of some pretty hair raising speeds across Monty's field ! With a little help from a massive power kite and a fresh sou' westerly breeze !!

Rageing Bullfrogs Rat

here is the latest potos of the anal intruder rat

Toecutter....

Probably one of biggest events in the Lizard MCC calender to date is upon us ....Oh yes, it's the Ruan Minor Vintage rally ! A memorable day out for ya red blooded thrill seekers.... Old cars, bikes, tractors and stands .... And dog hair fudge too, but that's another tail !
There'll be rain, grey skies, brollies and thermos flasks ! And of course my ole Guzzi !! So watch this space for some pretty racy photos !! May even snap a static engine or two ......

Member Selection

A number of the "Old ladys" have offered to scrutinise all new members
(if you care to show them). Some of them are Old and easily impressed, also very fond of young men.

The Patch

The patch has been designed, finally , after a lot of bribery and not a little corruption by one of the "Old Ladies" and so...yer tis.

Soon it shall materialise onto tee-shirts and a few patches.